Monthly Archives: January 2024

MOMMY DEAREST

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Every year on this date, I write about my mom. It morphs into something to include my dad. There’s always some variation in what is written, but only a little. It’s always long, using stream of consciousness, my natural method of writing. I like it because it starts with a sentence and ends when it ends. The long versions are better, maybe because those tend to be therapeutic. Maybe another time I can do a longer version. My mom’s history is fascinating.

This year I’d like to keep it short. I’m trying to blank my mind so I can focus and not meander. The picture I used in the past was of my parents and me standing outside the University of Akron Law School, taken in 1983.. I have my cap and gown on. My dad is wearing what looks like a suit, but it would be out of character for him to wear one. No doubt he had on a clip-on tie. My mom is wearing a dark skirt and a white blouse.

The one shown here is 1956. Back then, it wasn’t uncommon to have a family photo in black & white painted. And it is a family photo, in a sense. There’s a separate one of the two of us, with this being taken on the same date. I guess she wanted the equivalent of a 1956 selfie. It was right after our birthdays, both in September. My mom had just turned 22, and I was four.

Enough of that. I’m getting off on a tangent. This is where I started talking about my mom and giving readers a history of her and how it was my dad suggesting I go to law school before I wasted too much more of my life. It’s an interesting story to me, and I’m sure I’ll give a history lesson on his life and times too, but I’m digressing again.

January 22 is important because it is the date my mom died. That was 27 years ago (1997 for those not wanting to do the math), over a quarter century. My dad died six years later, and heck, that’s two decades ago. In Abe’s speech, “One score ago, my dad died.” So that’s a significant portion of my life I’ve been orphaned.

So my mom died, pretty young at the time, and I did two things. First, over the next year, on every conceivable holiday, I got a card for my mom and wrote to her about what was going on with the family. The cards were then sealed and remain so today. I found the cards in a large envelope not long ago and was tempted to open and read each. I didn’t. That wasn’t one of my promises. I just went off track again.

I made the promises in writing to her for the funeral, which I penned early that morning. Mom loved dancing and hiking. So I promised I’d dance one more dance for her and take a hike for her. I kept both. My inspiration for what I wrote came from a tee shirt with a couple of words and a Bible passage: “He maketh me to lie down in green pastures, he leadeth me beside the still waters.”

So, it seems this is a good place to end. To say she and they remain loved and missed is an understatement.

THE GADSDEN FLAG

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The Gadsden flag is a historical symbol of American patriotism. This flag features a coiled rattlesnake set against a yellow background, ready to strike. Beneath the rattlesnake are the words “Don’t Tread on Me.”

The rattlesnake was chosen for America’s readiness to defend itself against any threat. The flag has been described as the “most popular symbol of the American Revolution.” Today, groups and individuals often use it to express a strong commitment to personal liberty and limited government intervention.

The flag has been co-opted by groups and countries that did not have the original intent of it in mind. The flag is named for Christopher Gadsden, a delegate from South Carolina to the

Gadsden flag

Continental Congress who designed the flag in 1775. But it was Ben Franklin, who had designed a rattlesnake symbol in 1754, that best described it.

In December 1775, Franklin published an essay in the Pennsylvania Journal under the pseudonym “American Guesser,” in which he suggested that the rattlesnake was a good symbol of the American spirit and its valuation for vigilance, assertiveness, individualism, unity, and liberty.

CAREFUL WHAT YOU POST

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I love resurrecting this from time to time, with slight modifications. First, it has an important message; second, it’s a cute picture of me.

So many times, I’ve warned people about what they post on social media and always used a sample pic. Innocently taken pictures posted to social media sometimes come back to haunt you in a custody case.

That said, I found this picture of me when I was four. I have one of my dad’s cigars in my mouth, which is not good to do in today’s world. My fingers look a little close to the wall outlet, too. The bad thing is, I’ve smoked almost ever since-not good. Of course, I blame my parents as kids do. But I did quit about a few years ago, but that’s not important to this.

We didn’t call it Child Protective Services (CPS) back in those days, but be warned, had CPS, as it exists now, come out after someone reported this, think about it. It would have found we didn’t have heat except for the gas stove in the living room, and sometimes, when it was freezing cold, my mom would light up the gas stove in the kitchen and leave it open in an attempt to bake me. No way to heat a roughly 700-square-foot home, that’s for sure.

Plus, when another child was born, I lost my bedroom, and my parents stuck me in a non-bedroom off the living room that felt during the winter like 34 degrees.

My shirt is buttoned to the top to choke me, and my pants were bought to fit two or three years, which meant I tripped over my pant legs in the beginning until they turned into flood pants. My pants went from a danger hazard to a showing of neglect. I don’t understand why my hair has a skunk look to it. At that age, I was platinum blond.

Yep, someone would have lost custody, or I would have ended up in a series of foster homes for sure. I lucked out. My parents were good, though not perfect. We couldn’t afford certain things, like heat. Well, we had heat; it just didn’t warm the house or my bedroom. Plus, what kid that age doesn’t smoke, right? The point is that innocent and cute things can get turned around.

Seriously, though, be careful about what you post. If you’re on the other side of a case, social media is the first place I will check you out.

RAMBLES-RANDOM THOUGHTS

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The writings here are in the nature of a blog. Unlike most blogs, the most recent post is under this pinned post. There is no specific topic; I like to write occasionally. Be advised, though, that my writing is often in the form of a stream of consciousness. I know the overall theme. Then, I start writing until I get to what I believe is the end. Sidetrips are inevitable, but I get back to the point.

I write about the law because I’ve spent over 40 years in it. I write about things that interest me, like politics, history, current events, God, people, family,  observations, and reflections. I avoid the names of people because ethically, sometimes I have to or to avoid embarrassment to others. It wouldn’t be fair because no one can defend themselves here.

But I say what I believe, and sometimes words offend. It’s not because I’m offensive; it’s because we live in a time when people need to feel offended by every perceived slight. There will be nothing here I wouldn’t speak to another person.

There won’t be the opportunity to leave comments, good or bad. I don’t fear comments but can’t always get back promptly. But, if you want to comment, you can do so from the contact page via email.