Every year on December 24, I write this. I make changes to it as necessary or edit it. This year, there are some significant changes.
Christmas approaches, and it’ll be here when some see this. Although it has changed, it remained a day of mixed emotions for me. There is much more happiness now, but still, there remains a touch of sadness.
Please take a moment to reflect on what this holiday means to you, which means different things to different folks. For me, it was my mom’s favorite holiday. She started preparing for it in January and worked the rest of the year getting ready for it.
Our last Christmas was in 1996-28 years ago. I still remember it vividly. My mom was undergoing chemotherapy, and her doctor suggested she may want to skip her next scheduled one for the 31st so she could go dancing for New Year’s Eve. He was joking, of course, but wait, there’s more.
Unable to walk, my mom laughed, telling me what he said. We were sitting on bar stools in her kitchen. My mom loved dancing. Next thing I know, she was swinging her legs to and fro, saying, “Hey, look at me; I’m dancing.” It made me laugh. I still smile when I recall it. She wouldn’t live another month, but it was a special Christmas, and I cherish the memory of it.
Still, though, it became challenging in other ways. On January 5, 1970, my grandfather died. So, our last original family Christmas effectively ended in 1969. And, for my dad and me, it ended with my mother’s passing. Dad knew how important it was to her and refused to be around anyone on Christmas Day.
He arrived at my home for Christmas a few days before, leaving on the 24th to see his sister-in-law about 150 miles away. But instead of a couple of hours, it took him a couple of days to get there. So, I never really found out where he spent Christmas Day, but it was alone with his thoughts. He may have spent one Christmas with me before leaving this world in 2003, but I’m not sure. It may have been the day after.
My wife would likely know because it would have been at her home. Though I don’t remember it, I hope so. I know he showed up at her house while I was there for Christmas. I’ll have to ask her, but I’ll forget. I write this stuff in a stream-of-consciousness style and need to remember what I wrote. The cool thing is I don’t have to proofread it either. As an aside, I never asked Dawn. Or, if I did, I forget.
I’ve been blessed to have a beautiful wife by my side. She remains so, and while I’ve wronged her in the past, she remains my companion and friend on this life journey. I know this time of year can be difficult for her. Both of her parents are gone from this world. Other challenging things have been going on for her, but she perseveres. The biggest is now over, but one remains, which is lesser in comparison.
So, while there have been losses, there have been gains. I had one daughter, and now I consider myself to have three. I also now have a son and two sons-in-law. Even more incredible are two grandkids, Adam and Lila. I see more in the future. In addition, there is another grandson and great-grandchild by marriage, Drew and Christopher, respectively. Still, it’s not likely I’ll ever have the privilege of seeing either.
With the losses and additions, I don’t consider it a net gain, only that life marches forward, and change is inevitable. I miss those gone; I enjoy and appreciate those here.
Take a moment to call someone, especially if you last talked to them long ago. Texting doesn’t count in my book, but I’m late in the texting game and don’t do it right. It seems impersonal to me; many people do it, but it’s like talking to them. My life would be complete if I could stamp out the use of “lol.”
Renew acquaintances, patch things up, hug someone important, and tell someone you love them. If you let time run out, you may regret not doing so. That is excellent advice; I should follow it.
Think of the past with fondness but anticipate the future. As good as things were, make it a better tomorrow. I’ll see the grandkids, Adam and Lila later today. Ari, Alex, and Anna will be there, as will Jesse, his parents, sister and husband, their kids, and two SOs, Tricia and Brody. Tomorrow, my daughter and her husband, Krystal and David, would stop here, but an injury prevents it. So, family is all part of it, just not always the same people. It has to do with the cycle of life.
The cycle of life seems odd because, in theory, it culminates in death. But it signifies birth, rebirth, or new birth. So it fits. If not, I now declare it does.
Hence, from my favorite movie, “Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.” That’s a nice one to live by, or at least try. It doesn’t necessarily relate to what I’m writing, but I like it, and Christmas remains about Christ.
Before departing for the day, I wish you a Merry Christmas and, if you don’t do Christmas, a happy holiday season and a happy, safe, and healthy 2025! The last one is interesting to me.
In so many ways, putting aside the losses, I can’t conceive of a year worse than 2024, until toward the end, and I’m looking forward to a great 2025.
May God Bless You!
