Today is Abe Lincoln’s birthday, and if he were still alive, he’d be pretty damn old. Now, old Abe has been inducted into the Wrestling Hall of Fame because he was a pretty good wrestler. They estimate he was in 300 wrestling matches and only lost once. Now I was checking into it; it sounds right. Heck, he’d be in the Hall of Fame for it, but not the WWE one.

In Abe’s own words, the only man to beat him was my great-great-great-great grandpappy, Lorenzo Dow Thompson. Lorenzo didn’t get into the Hall of Fame. He could have, but he didn’t want to be in it. I did watch the match-up on YouTube, and it wasn’t even close. Granddad took the best of three falls. You won’t find it on YouTube unless you have an exclusive account (you don’t).

But you can read about it. Lincoln remembered his wrestling days on the campaign trail in 1860 from the excerpt. He told Risdon Moore, a college professor whose father served with Lincoln during the Black Hawk War, that he was undefeated until Lorenzo Dow Thompson threw him. (By the way, as much fun as I could have with the name, I believe it to be wrong)

In the words of Lincoln himself, “Gentleman, I felt of Mr. Thompson, the St. Clair champion, and told my boys I could throw him, and they could bet what they pleased. You see, I had never been thrown or dusted, as the phrase then was, and I believe Thompson said the same to the St. Clair boys: they might bet their bottom dollar that he could down me. You may think a wrestle, or “wrastle,” as we called such contests of skill and strength, was a small matter, but I tell you, the whole army was out to see it. We took our holds, his choice first, a side hold. I think realized from his grip for the first time that he was a powerful man and that I have no easy job. The struggle was severe, but after many passes and efforts, he threw me. My boys yelled out, “a dog fall,” which meant then a drawn battle, but I told my boys it was fair, and then said to Thompson, “Now it’s your turn to go down,” as it was my hold then, Indian hug. We took our holds again, and after the fiercest struggle of the kind that I ever had, he threw me again, almost as easily at my hold as at his own. My men raised another protest, but I again told them it was a fair down. Why, gentlemen, that man could throw a grizzly bear.”

Old Abe was a known storyteller, but he is in the Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame, and Lorenzo Dow Thompson isn’t some long-lost relative, but who cares?