My sister and I had a falling out years ago over our political views. We both said things in anger. We’re both stubborn. And we’re both older now, which means time is running short.
Our parents are gone. They would be heartbroken.
I remember her first time in church; she cried her eyes out. I was five years older, the protective older brother. To comfort her, I spent Sunday school class at the little kids’ table, squirting an almost-empty Elmer’s glue bottle in her face. With each puff of air, she went from smiling to laughing. Or the family vacations as kids, at the beach, a pool, or an amusement park; the shared good times of family.Â
At ages nine and four, roughly, that’s what love looked like then.
As adults, the dynamic changes. We grow into our own convictions, our own lives. But those early shared experiences, moments of glue and laughter, should carry forward. They should matter more than the silence.
The Bible says: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” -Romans 12:18 (NIV)
That verse does not promise peace; it invites effort. It does not say “agree with everyone,” but “live at peace.” There is a difference.
Sometimes the first step is not a grand gesture. It can be a quiet one: a memory shared, a note written and sent, a silent prayer. Even if the other person is not ready, you can still choose grace. Forgiveness may come later—or not at all. If the wound is deep and left to fester, it may remain. Grace doesn’t wait for an apology. It simply says, “I still care.”
If you are in a similar place, do not wait for perfect conditions. In other words, don’t wait until you are sure it will work. Just do what depends on you.
And don’t do it in baby steps. This isn’t “What About Bob?” with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss. Lay it out all at once. Say what needs to be said. Because if you wait for step two, it may never come.
Reconciliation doesn’t mean abandoning your principles. It means choosing relationship over resentment. It means remembering what you once were to each other—and saying it while you still can.